The Falkland islands.
28 or so years ago Argentina decided that they wanted the Falkland Islands (or as they call them, Malvinas). However as the UK have had this sovereign territory since 1833, we said: no, fuck off.
Argentina then proceeded to invade the islands and claim them, holding the British citizens hostage. What happened next is not only well documented but is one of the things that makes me most proud to say I am British.
A small island in the North Atlantic, a tiny island nation called Britain, sent their finest troops on a 3 week sea voyage to defend British territory. A tiny British territory, which many may have called insignificant. This was a point of principle and that's what makes me British and proud to be so. We could have easily given up that barren rock deep in the south Atlantic and simply recovered the few residents and re-settled them here. But we didn't, we sent our forces half way around the world and gave Argentina a bollock punch by wearing their troops down to the point of surrender.
So now Argentina and a group of other impoverished south American countries are condemning the UK for drilling for oil off the Falkland Islands, our territory.
Fine I say. We may be at the depths of our deepest recession, we may be over stretched in Afghanistan. But fuck it, bring it on anyway. At the risk of sounding like a fuckwit neo-nazi loony, just try it and see what happens. You can say whatever you like about the British, but our spirit and resolve will always prevail.
We have values, we have pride and we have determination, that will never be crushed, oil or no oil, 10 or 10000 miles away, whether for 5 British citizens or 5000 British citizens or 5 million British citizens.
In 1982 British citizens were reminded of what we stand for, why we are proud and what we can achieve as a nation. In these disparate days of British politics, perhaps it's about to happen again. I hope not, but in a horrible way, I hope so. We are not to be undermined and we are not to be divided.
Oh my, who the fuck do I think I am, Churchill?
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Fridge/bus mentalist
An excerpt from an email which I enjoyed writing:
Well I've been off work, and I have to say, having fun. However, I suffer from a crippling deficiency of motivation and this plagues my time off. So other than socialising, going to Tesco, drinking more than the government prescribes, scratching my arse, the odd gym visit and pondering long and hard about my return to stand-up, I've achieved very little. I did do a wee bit of DIY the other day. You see I've been 'doing up' my hall and living room for about a year now, with small and tiring bursts of activity and long periods of inactivity, longing for the 'magical DIY fairy' to visit during the night and finish it. I've pulled out 5 of my teeth and placed them all under my pillow (one at a time of course, I'm not daft), but that fairy never comes. I noticed the other day that the house 2 doors down has nice new living room decor and curtains, maybe just another 2 teeth and the fairy will make it here. Of course the re-constructive surgery will be more expensive than just getting a painter and decorator in to do it, but I'm a man and will never admit defeat. Unless defeated by a fairy of course. This is one of my great failings, being a man.
I haven't been sleeping well, because of my fridge and nightmares. My fridge was making a horrendous noise, today I ripped that mother-fucker apart and found the source of noise that was keeping me up nights. I had to force defrost a frost-free freezer (LIES damn LIES). I have diagnosed a new defrost cycle timer is required, cost £20, better than a new fridge-freezer, cost £350. I will feel very smug when that tall white bastard starts acting like the 2 year old it is, then I will sleep easy. It ruined 3 haggis today, the fucking Japanese bastard.
The nightmares are mainly the usual: unable to get upstairs on a double decker bus due the poorly thought out design and anti-tall-people devices fitted in the future and then abusing a tramp loudly about not moving seat. Then being chased through a high st shopping centre by an angry bus-rage fuelled mob, who plainly couldn't see my point. I think some of them have pitch forks, that should be reserved for vampires and aliens, not the Scottish.
Maybe I have issues, with white goods and public transport. Maybe a I should go for some counselling. Or a new mattress, that might do it.
Mick, fridge/bus mentalist.
Well I've been off work, and I have to say, having fun. However, I suffer from a crippling deficiency of motivation and this plagues my time off. So other than socialising, going to Tesco, drinking more than the government prescribes, scratching my arse, the odd gym visit and pondering long and hard about my return to stand-up, I've achieved very little. I did do a wee bit of DIY the other day. You see I've been 'doing up' my hall and living room for about a year now, with small and tiring bursts of activity and long periods of inactivity, longing for the 'magical DIY fairy' to visit during the night and finish it. I've pulled out 5 of my teeth and placed them all under my pillow (one at a time of course, I'm not daft), but that fairy never comes. I noticed the other day that the house 2 doors down has nice new living room decor and curtains, maybe just another 2 teeth and the fairy will make it here. Of course the re-constructive surgery will be more expensive than just getting a painter and decorator in to do it, but I'm a man and will never admit defeat. Unless defeated by a fairy of course. This is one of my great failings, being a man.
I haven't been sleeping well, because of my fridge and nightmares. My fridge was making a horrendous noise, today I ripped that mother-fucker apart and found the source of noise that was keeping me up nights. I had to force defrost a frost-free freezer (LIES damn LIES). I have diagnosed a new defrost cycle timer is required, cost £20, better than a new fridge-freezer, cost £350. I will feel very smug when that tall white bastard starts acting like the 2 year old it is, then I will sleep easy. It ruined 3 haggis today, the fucking Japanese bastard.
The nightmares are mainly the usual: unable to get upstairs on a double decker bus due the poorly thought out design and anti-tall-people devices fitted in the future and then abusing a tramp loudly about not moving seat. Then being chased through a high st shopping centre by an angry bus-rage fuelled mob, who plainly couldn't see my point. I think some of them have pitch forks, that should be reserved for vampires and aliens, not the Scottish.
Maybe I have issues, with white goods and public transport. Maybe a I should go for some counselling. Or a new mattress, that might do it.
Mick, fridge/bus mentalist.
Up to date
I am really shit at keeping things up to date. I probably wouldn't have a TV licence now if they didn't keep sending me one every year and extracting money by direct debit every month from my bank.
So it's no wonder then that I don't keep this page of random rantings up to date. I really would love to, but I guess at the age of 33 I have come to realise that I am just, well, too lazy.
It's a shame really, cause I started this blog as a material generation tool for my stand-up comedy. Which, of course I have been too lazy to keep up, both the comedy and the blog.
The last time I updated this was 01st Oct 2009. Now I'm sure lots of very funny things and more importantly infuriating things, have happened to me since then. So why don't I just spend 5 mins writing them down????
I don't know the answer to that and maybe I never will. However having read over some of my previous posts, I really enjoyed them and had forgotten how much I enjoyed writing. I guess it's about being disciplined. I should be more disciplined, however I won't hold my breath for that to kick in!
So it's no wonder then that I don't keep this page of random rantings up to date. I really would love to, but I guess at the age of 33 I have come to realise that I am just, well, too lazy.
It's a shame really, cause I started this blog as a material generation tool for my stand-up comedy. Which, of course I have been too lazy to keep up, both the comedy and the blog.
The last time I updated this was 01st Oct 2009. Now I'm sure lots of very funny things and more importantly infuriating things, have happened to me since then. So why don't I just spend 5 mins writing them down????
I don't know the answer to that and maybe I never will. However having read over some of my previous posts, I really enjoyed them and had forgotten how much I enjoyed writing. I guess it's about being disciplined. I should be more disciplined, however I won't hold my breath for that to kick in!
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