The British Crime Survey

The British Crime Survey was published yesterday. Amongst the reasonably small drops in some crimes, robbery overall was up by 8% and depending on where you live in the UK, you may see up to a 28% increase. So what can the government conclude from this?

Can they conclude that even though they have put more police officers on the streets, those officers are so bogged down with paperwork and statistics that they can't effectively do their job? (My friend is a police officer, he booked someone for being drunk and disorderly recently, it took him 2 and a half hours to do the paperwork).

Can they conclude that society doesn't see the the criminal justice system as a big enough deterrent? I don't have to give any examples for this one, we all read the papers and see the news and have all heard stories of offenders with 30 previous convictions getting off scot-free cause they're "a recovering drug addict and need support not incarceration".

Can they conclude that crime statistics have increased since every hoodlum from Eastern Europe to deepest darkest Central Africa realised our borders are as secure as a toilet paper gazebo in a force 9 gale (never actually seen a toilet paper gazebo, but I'm imagining it'd be quite flimsy) and flock here, unchecked in their thousands, sorry, hundreds of thousands to claim asylum and....mysteriously.....disappear? (Probably washing cars with our precious water the fuckers).

No, don't be silly, none of the above. They know exactly whose fault it is. The victims fault! Yes you inconsiderate, crime generating bastards, it's your fault! Walking around with your fancy MP3 players and expensive mobile phones. You disgust me. I bet most of you victims have worked hard for those things, saved money, paid your taxes etc, and generally kept your heads down.

Then what do you go and do? Yes, walk around when it's dark (or bright) using the things they've bought (or just carrying them in a concealed place) asking, nay practically begging scum sucking vermin criminal sub human junkies to rob them.

You victims should be ashamed of yourselves. Criminals are the real victims if you ask me. They probably don't want to rob you, but you force them to! By keeping yourself to yourself and having nice things. Then they go to jail, when (if) they're caught. Where they will be subject to harsh punishment, and three good meals a day, and heating, for free. Whilst pensioners starve to death on their own, with hypothermia.

Fucking victims, put them in jail I say.